January 13, 2007

  • not doing so good

    im finding it hard to eat my meals at all now...i get voices in my head and it scares me so much. just today i cried over crackers and cheese and because i ate only half i cut myself real bad and wrist banged my right wrist...its ll swollen.

    doctors say i might be in here for 5 weeks...so i might not be out next thursday...but well hope and see.

    im still writting in my little diary...ive written alot so when i get out there will be a very large entry lol. i might even re-write it a little and publish it...might be my first step to being an author...something ive always wanted to be.

    i think im losing weight again...im still purging after meals...nurses dont know but its also cuz im exercising and not eating all of my meals.

    i miss scratchy, ryan and talking to angie so fucking much. i hate it here, everyone is so fucked up and now they think im so mentally unstable i gotta stay longer then a week...i want out! someone rescue me!! lol.

    maybe some of u visit or call? the number is 9496 6491 (only if u live in melbourne) and the address is

    MHCSU
    PO Box 5444
    Heidelberg West
    Victoria
    Australia, 3081

    so if any of you wanna write you can ^.^. well i gotta go...meds and bed time...oh and if ya wanna write put at the top of the addres Mekah Menke room 10

Comments (5)

  • Hang in there chicki. They're there to help you get better. They should, however, be helping you work on the mental side of things too. I will write to you this week some time. It's going to be 37 C on monday so I'll probably be hiding from the heat again. Hang in there ok. xoxoxo *hugs*

  • I am so sorry you are struggling with this.  I was hoping that this wouldn't be a bad experience for you despite the fact they didn't specialize in eating disorders.  I don't think you are unstable, I just think you are frustrated that they most likely aren't giving you the help that you need.

    Keep trying to hang in there.  You'll be able to come home and hopefully when you leave they will give you a refereal to a decent outpatient place.

  • MEKAH I MISS YOU! *big hugs*

  • Oh Mekah.. I'm so happy you're finally getting help. I've been reading your journal now and then for two years. Sorry for not commenting. You are an amazing person and you really deserve to be happy.

    *hugs*

  • ...all I can say is just by the comments and from others- you are an amazing person who shouldn't go through this, but can beat this. you need to see the strength that lies inside of you.

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