January 26, 2007

• Busy week!

  This week has been crazy! i was hoping to just stay home and do nothing but it turned into a rollercoster ride! Moday my first day home was spent driving everywhere to get my new meds (new meds will be explained later on) but no pharmacy or hospital would supply me with them. Tuesday was pretty much the same but i got my meds and a few other things...i bought skinny jeans!!! ill take pics real soon ^.^ although i look pretty ill but eh...at least i can see that now huh. Wednesday i actually stayed home but marnah was over, the day i got back ryan bought me the best gift ever...The Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess for game cube!!!! >.<. ive been waiting a full 2 yrs for this game...so i played it with marnah, we both drooled over the game...and link lol XD. Thursday i has to go see a Therapist...found out i dont actually need to take my new meds as they are for "skitsophrania" (spelling?)...the doctors at Austin said i was a skitz so they started me on Seraquel, made me so tired all of the time and now i dont even need them. Friday was spent at Ryans work as he wanted to keep an eye on me, hes still worried about my current weight and didnt want me to fall over or hurt myself. And then theres today...Ryan will be buying me an actual bed! so no more sleeping on couch hahaha. As for my Austin diary...i've only been able to type up a little...so ill paste what i've done and see how you all like it.

  ~*8th, Monday, January*~

  Room 10

  I'ts been a long day but I've finally setteld down in my new room, room 10...ironically enough I've been put in room 10 and the 10th is my birth date (10th of April 1987).

  The room has its own bathroom complete with a standard shower, sink and toilet. I'd thought I would be sharing one large room with a group of other girls having to fight over one bathroom! As I put my luggage down next to my bed the nurse opend the curtains to a wonderful veiw of a yellow brick wall. I looked up the wall, it was about 12 or so feet high with a metal fence at the top. I could see people walking by looking down at me, I wonderd what they may have been thinking, looking down at a little girl in a phychiatric room.

  Then these two asian nurses started going through my bags, looking for dangerouse objects, drugs and so forth. They took; A mirror, my shavers, medications, 4 lighters, lollies and my wallet. They said they'd lock everything in my little safe which was located under my clothes cupboard but they'd lock the medication and wallet in their safe which was at the reception.

  After a while they left and i started packing away my clothes when i get a knock at the door, i go see who it is. A tall old looking man stands in my door way and happily throws his hand out to shake mine, "Hey, I'm Tony...let me give you a tour!" So he took my hand and i timidly get excorted down the hallway.

  "Now, see this tall guy paceing?" He pointed to a lanky looking african man walking around aimlessly, i cought him smileing at me on the way in. "Dont talk to him, he want hurt you if you do...hell just get a little touchy feely if you get what i mean." My face went blank. He then showed me the dinning room, full of tables and chairs, a wall surrounded it and beyond the wall was a long couch with a large T.V. The T.V was on at high volume even though no one was watching it. I asked why the T.V was on and no one was watching. "Cause the nurses can drown out other sounds...you'll understand what i mean"

  Next to the T.V was a small table with only a few chairs. "Thats where you will eat, all the eating disorder girls eat at a different table to everyone else, i guess it makes them more comfortable."

  We then headed outside to the court yard. The yard wasnt very big, about 20ft by 40ft. A concret pathway circled around the yard with dry grass growing in the middle. Straight ahead of the door was a metal like box and about 7ft to the right was a shelted table.

  "Do you smoke?" I softly nodded. "Well come look at this!" He then showed me the metal box, it was in fact a lighter! He showed me how it worked. "First you press down on this little button, wait about 10 or so seconds, then stick your fag into the hole and suck!" My eye-brows raised, i then rememberd that the nurses took my 4 lighters and locked them up too.

  I asked why lighters arn't allowed. "Cause some of these mental cases like to burn stuff, or themselves."

  We then headed inside, first thing i noticed was a fragile looking girl sitting at a table located near the hallway. She had blonde hair with two pink tips, eyes sunken but still pretty, face gaunt and cemented in foundation...but she was still pretty. I suddenly felt "huge"...as two other girls sat down with her, they were both "alot" thinner then me. Tony went and sat with them and i followed.

  "Hey, I'm Natasha but everyone calls me Tash." She looked at me quickly and then layed her head down on the table.

  "Shes just tired from the medication." A girl to her left, she looked old, wrinkled almost but so thin i couldnt tell if she was my age or 80. "I'm Karen by the way and this is Sonia." She pointed to a tanned looking girl with tipped hair and also caked in foundation.

  I suddenly hair loud knocking on the recepion windows followed by a deep moaning, "Can i have a smoke?" Now this man looked way off this world, tall, overweight, face like a gorilla and dakr skinned like a african.

  "Thats just Frences, hes got asthma and asks everyone at least 50 times a day for a smoke but other then that hes pretty harmless." Tony patted my shoulder. "Well I'm off, today is my last day girls." Everyone started to sigh.

  "But you're our body guard Tony! Who's going to protect us now!" Natasha grabbed Tony's sleeve.

  "Mekah will, look at those muscles!" He grabbed my arm as everyone laughed...I smiled a little.

  • 4:52 pm
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