April 25, 2007

  • Feeling better

    Alot has happend since my last update...too bad i cant remember half it due to the meds! lol. Well to start off i dont feel as depressed anymore, althought i do have my moments. Sara has gone home but i might be seeing her this saturday, Nat a girl here is having her 30th bday party at this coffee shop so hopefully i can go.

    I've "sort of" got my purging under control, i manage to keep all 5 meals down a day...i have 6...the meal i have trouble with is my dinner...i dont know why, the voices are so loud after dinner. im also trying to stop cutting, so yesterday i had leave (which was great but ill get to that in a sec.) i bought some elastic bands, when ever i want to cut i slap myself with it, it stings like a bitch but at least it wont leave scars.

    A new eating disorder patient has also moved in, her name is Vironica, she a bit taller then me but we both weigh the same i think...which reminds me, im losing weight "again"...even though im keeping 5 meals down ive dropped to 46.3kgs...i was 47.3 last monday...and last thursday i was 48.9....i just had a blood test before so im scared that my potassium will be low...i dont want to go back to hospital! or back into HDU...

    Anyway, i wanna talk about yesterday!!! ^.^

    I had leave, marnah and james arrived and picked me up, then we went to peters house and picked him up (nurses didnt know lol). We then went to this market place but it was closed seeing it was ANZAC day and we had to wait an hour or so till we could get it. So instead we went to this coffee shop were i shouted everyone lunch. I had a lite cappaccino, half a large cookie and some wedges which i shared with peter. After that we went back to the market were i bought some stuff i needed, i gave marnah $30 for this thing she wanted to order off the net but she went to this $2 shop and spent most of it!!! so then she asked for MORE money...which i gave her so in total i gave her $40 O_O...blah! lol...anyway i ended up buying myself, a coffee mug with a kitten on it, butterfly floating candles, a purple hair thingy, ciggy case, elastic bands, a note book, some bananna lollies, butterfly hair pin and some more lollies XD. peter ended up paying for most of it (shweet heart :P ) lol.

    We then went off back to peters house and chilled out there for a while...i wanted marnah and james to go (wanted alone time with peter ;P hahaha) but i felt bad cause they drove 40 mins to come see me...so they stayed. Peter kissed me so much i dont think i need to clean my face at the end of the day hahahaha and hes so gentle ^.^. He comes and visits me every night at 7pm (if he is let in -_-) but it gives me something to look forward to.

    Also last night when peter came to visit me both made each other beaded bracelets, i made him a orange and black one, same colours has the wests tigers rugby team, it had "XXX" on it haha, he made me a pretty purple and pink beaded bracelet that said "FUCKU" on it bahahahaha, love it XD.

    Anyway, it time for my morning tea -_-'''....just wanted to tell everyone that im doing alot better despite my weightloss...my dad also apologised for how he has been towards me, so its all good.

     

    p.s...ryan still hasnt contacted me since the 10th.  ._. oh well.

Comments (6)

  • {{{{{hugs}}}}}
    I am glad you are doing well.  You do sound better in your post.  I honestly hope that it continues.  I knew your dad would come around.  He loves you so much.  If Ryan doesn't come around, well.  I know you can find a guy who will love and support you as much as you love and support him.

  • ah, so happy to hear you're doing well!
    still miss you like crazy, though!
    keep getting better so you can get the hell outta there!
    have fun with peter, lots and lots of fun
    you're day out sounds like it was great, and i just wanted to let you know i'm so proud of you.
    i'm startin' a new diet this summer, hoping to loose the 30lbs i gained this semester at college.
    ttyl sweetie, love you!
    xoxo Sam

  • hey mikah, i'm glad things seem to be getting better for you. i think this thing you have going on with peter could become a really good thing. he sounds like a great guy who wants the best for you, and you deserve that. it sucks when relationshipd end, but i think in this case it's for the best *ryan*. stay happy and just remember that even when things seem hopeless, you're not alone. think of all the things you've survived so far..every one of them makes you stronger.

  • good to hear that u're feeling better!!!

  • I miss you, I'm crying ...

    Your rants are so beautiful Mekah.

    Gosh .. I miss you ...

    I wish we could talk, I wish you could come here.

    Ah .. Eyes are swelling with tears ..

    I guess one day soon, when your better or out of the hospital at least, maybe?

    I wonder if you've forgotten me, you never mention me at all ..

    Its as if I was never there, you never knew me ...

    I wanna die.

    I wanna just die.

    I still love you.

  • hey gorgeous, I emailed you some pics of us today at nats party, it was sooooo good to see u again, xoxxoxoox

    LOVE ALWAYS, sarah

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