May 17, 2007

• Chaotic Weekend Ahead

  Just came home from my bone density scan, it was pretty interesting to see what my whole skeleton looked like. I could see how big I was…. hard to explain. Anyway, before that my Oma and I went to go see my GP but instead of seeing Dr. Wong we saw a guy named Dr. Phil lol. He’s so funny and outgoing, wish I had him the whole time; he isn’t as serious as Dr. Wong. Anyway, I’ve lost more weigh; now weigh roughly 47kgs…bah oh well.

   

  Then after that we went off and I had a blood test done, the woman that did it was so quick! And it didn’t even hurt! I think…I may be in love with her lol!

   

  Well this Saturday my uncle and his girlfriend is moving in…so I got to go now and help clean Marnah rooms and put it into the tiny spare room. I have a bad feeling about it all but something deep inside keeps saying, “It’ll be ok.” My dad called me last night and I told him I was scared that Allan wouldn’t have changed and he’d be mean to me and call me names along with leaving the bathroom a pigsty and always getting his own way! My dad just replied, “If he gives you a hard time, tell Oma and if nothing is done tell him to fuck off or hit him over the head with a shovel!” lol, I like both those ideas hahaha.

   

  Anyway, might update later…and here is another poem, I wrote it after I realized Ryan wasn’t going to call or visit me at all in hospital.

  You Don’t Love Me

   

  Razor blade petals eat at my soul,

  Whilst I wait in here wondering,

  If you loved me at all.

   

  I can now see I wasn’t good enough.

  I tried as best as I can,

  But still you do not love me for who I am.

   

  Stinging crystal tears,

  Travel down my face.

  I now have to cover,

  The hurt with linen and lace.

   

  I can’t stand your constant lying,

  I can’t stand my constant crying.

  I can’t stand all your denying,

  And all the whiles I feel I’m slowly dying.

  • 12:10 am
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