November 13, 2007
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Stressed but it'll be OK!
Nich and I had moved from Be Street to a small house in blackburn, it was ok for a few days, we were renting a room there with a 73yr old lady, Pauline. She seemed ok at first, made us dinner and as all nice and then she stopped making dinner complaining she had nothing to eat herself! THEN she complains about ME looking ill in the morning, like who looks 100% first thing when they wake up. Then she kept going on about our jobs...so in the end Nich and i are now moving into one of Nichs friends place located in Mitchem, well only be there for about 4-6 weeks till we save up enough for our own place.
Its been pretty stressful money wise, walking around with only $10 in my wallet, low on smokes and an empty stomach...which doesn't bother me i don't think. I'm still struggling with my body image. Last night there was a show on about Anorexics and it was really triggering for me. I was eating dinner at the time and all i could think about was purging it...but i didn't, its just the though creeping back into my mind that scared me. I'm getting better health wise but mentally I'm still the same, i STILL want to lose weight and i'm STILL terrified of gaining even though I've lost about 2kgs in the last 3 or so days, don't know why though, probably due to stress.
I also went to see my doctor a few days ago, told him I've been real stressed lately and he prescribed me xanax 2mg (kalma2). I'm supposed to take it 3 times a day, I took one two night ago whilst eating some pizza, nich went out to have a smoke and when he came back in i had passed out on the couch with pizza all over me! I didn't know what the fuck was going on. So then i went outside for a smoke whilst nich went to bed...I woke up on the ground an hour later....this xanax shit is STRONG O.O. I asked nichs friend Matt about them and he said one of those xanax pills are like taking 6 valiums and once addicted its like coming off smack....O___O eeps.
I went to centrelink today asking for an advanced loan seeing I'm fucked with money so I'm getting $500 tomorrow woot. Also my disability pension is coming through and they owe me money ^_^ lol,.
Well thats it for now, I'm going to go online and look for some units!!!
Comments (3)
Hey. I watched most of that show about anorexia too. M watched it with me.. we were also eating dinner. We talked about some of it while we watched it cause he kept saying he didn't understand different things... watching the show made me feel sick physically.
Hope your moving situation works out ok. x
wow! girl, that med might not be right for u. i suggest u go see another GP at least.
really happy 4 u nNic! i can tell how much u like him. so aslong as u can be happy, then i'm happy 4 u!
and, i'm gone on the 22nd!!! next Thur, to China. but i'll be back in early January, and i'll take u out somewhere nice for dinner
we'll both get really dressed up n go somewhere nice
take care of ur self girl.
i'll always be thinking of u!
xo
HEY HOW ARE YOU!!!!!!???
ITS BEEN AGES!!!!
I've been to worried...
I'm glad to hear that you are slowly recovering...couldn't have happened to a better person!!!
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