May 22, 2008

• Day 4

  
  

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  9am: Nothing
  10am: Nothing 
  12pm: coffee, chilled water 3 diet pills 
  3pm: green tea, chilled water, 1 diet pill, nap till dinner. 
  6pm: coffee, chilled water, 3 diet pills
  8pm: sleep herbal tea, chilled water, slow stretching. 
  10pm: sleep herbal tea, chilled water, sleeping pill
  
  CW: 51kgs
  ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

  
  

  I stayed up till 4am last night watching the soccer with Matt and so I woke up late which explains why I had nothing till 12pm. Another kilo lost! Woot! And I haven't even had any laxatives yet, it's weird how I've lost a kilo every day so far but I'm pretty sure the weight lose will slow down pretty soon, I'll be over the moon once I'm back into the 40s. My hunger pains have died down a lot too which is a huge relief! I don't think I could take another day of intense stomach growling! Matt has been asking me about wether I've been eating or not, I tell him I eat just he doesn't pay much attention so he just shrugs it off, he hasn't noticed any weight lose though or maybe he has but hasn't said anything?

  I'm going to scoot off now, Matt and I are going for a walk to the beach! We were supposed to go to the city but we both woke up too late so we'll probably do that tomorrow, I'll be back later.

  P.s, I'm only up to "3pm" just I don't know how to change it :-/

  I've been a naughty girl today...I "used" again but so I wont do it again I took a before and after picture so I can look at them and remind myself how bad and out of it I look!

  The "before" at 8:22pm
  

  I got changed, had the stupid fucking heroin >:( at 8:26pm
  

  And the "after" at 8:27...Yes it kicked in that fast
  

  I paid $160 fucking dollars to have a needle stuck into my arm and look what it made me look like, I look fucked compared to the first picture. I'm so fucking angry with myself! The withdrawals were dimming down and going away and now I have to start all over again! But I'll admit, it felt good...For the first ten seconds anyway , I hate heroin, I HATE heroin! I FUCKING HATE HEROIN!!!! HATE IT!!!! HATE IT!!!! HATE IT!!!! HATE IT!!!! >_<
  So people, if any of you are even tempted at trying it or if you're curious...Don't...It'll destroy your family, your relationships, your friendships, your whole fucking LIFE! Got it? Good!

  Anyway, other then that fuck up today was pretty good. I'm still fasting and going strong, didn't really do much today. Oh and if you're wondering how I got heroin here in Perth I called Simon and asked him how he got it when he lived here and he gave me a number to call which I've destroyed so I can't call it again! So, it's late and I'm nodding off on the keyboard...Please forgive me for being a junkie

  
  

  • 1:52 am
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