June 14, 2009

  • 16 Days to go!

    Pete goes to court in Ringwood on the 30th and there’s a chance he might be able to come home ! I have a count down on my calendar; oh I’m just praying every night that he’ll get to come home! I miss him so much my heart aches 24/7, I’m so depressed I haven’t eaten for days and I’ve cried myself to sleep every night since he’s been gone .

    Today has been so rough, so cold and so cruel for my poor tender heart that I’ve cried nearly all day non-stop !

    First Pete calls me at about 9:30am (I love waking up to his voice ) and I told him that his Dad (Zack) wants me out ! And it’s all because last Thursday night I went out at 12am to get a smoke and didn’t come home till 2am (I didn’t score by the way! ) and so he wants me out. Pete’s older brother (Phil) and younger sister (Liz) “also” want me out ! And then his Mum (Yolande) cuts in on the phone and yells at me ! We both started to cry, Pete is so stressed because all he wants to do is look after me and make sure I’m ok but he can’t because he’s stuck in jail ! So I thought “fuck staying here, I’m going to go see Pete!” it would cheer us both up too! Plus I think he is getting moved to a different Assessment Prison tomorrow so I really wanted to see him today because the place they are moving him to is “ages” away and it might be a while before I get to see him!

    So I left the house at about 12pm and about ten minutes later I get a phone call from Simon (one of Pete’s ex junkie friends) and he told me to tell Pete that when Pete get’s out he’ll have a “welcome party” waiting for him! In other words, Simon has gotten 10 of his mates together to smash Pete when he gets out ! So I told him to go “fuck him self !” and then he said that if he sees me anywhere in the street, he’ll also smash “me” !! He’s also going to be waiting at the ATM I normally get my money out, I get my money out at about 12:10am on a Tuesday (pretty much the second it goes in) but that was when I used Heroin and I won’t be doing that anymore! Plus, I’ve given my ATM card to Yolande just in case I get “tempted”

    So after that phone call I “really” needed to see Pete but guess what… The moment I get there I’m told it was too late ! Visiting hours were over! They had “just” changed the visiting times yesterday and I didn’t know ! I thought they ended at 3pm but they ended at 12:30pm and I arrived at 2pm ! So all I could do was drop off some magazines Pete wanted and softly cried on my way out and back onto the tram that I had gotten off at !.

    When I got back home I just ran upstairs and cried my eyes out, I pleaded with Yolande to let me stay but more then likely she’ll be sending me back to Rosebud. So I called Marnah (my sister) and hoped she could cheer me up, she told me I might be able to live with a guy friend of hers (Nathen). I haven’t seen him for like, two years ! So she called him and he called me back, we’ve arranged to meet up tomorrow at 12:30pm to have lunch and talk about it. But it’s all up to Nathen’s Mum, if she says yes I’ll be living at the Wanterna Caravan Park and so I’ll be closer to Pete and will be able to visit him ! But I don’t know, I think I’ll just go to Rosebud and stay there anyway…. I’ll be away from drugs, near the beach and a ten minute walk from my Methadone pharmacy, I “guess” that’s good ... But I won’t be able to see Pete until he gets out , I’ll only be able to write to him and receive his phone calls (the calls cut out after 12minutes and he can only make 3 calls a day ).

    So if I stop updating for a while it’ll be because I’ll be in Rosebud but I’ll try and get the internet up and running seeing I’ll have money and won’t be spending it all on Heroin !

    I’m going to go now and write more of Pete’s letter and “try” to have some dinner… I probably won’t though; I’m too depressed and not even hungry anyway .