June 8, 2011

  • Trying to keep side tracked

    Since court all I've been trying to do is keep my mind off bad things, bad memories and the up coming date that I'll have court again. I spend a lot of my time now either playing online games on facebook like the CSI: Crime City game or playing the Xbox360. Pete bought two new games one called Hunted: The Demons Forge which we both play split screen together, it's a lot like Gears of War I enjoyed Gears a lot and also enjoy playing this game, especially seeing is a two played game so Pete and I can play together and help each other which also keeps both our minds away from bad thoughts. The other game Pete got is called L.A Noire, it's it's made by Rockstar and is almost exactly like GTA which was also made by Rockstar except unlike GTA in L.A Noire you arn't a criminal! Instead you play as a good guy! A cop actually, you drive around this huge city and solve crimes, the graphics are the best I've ever seen, so life like it's amazing. I've spent a lot of time playing this.

    I have also just started playing this online game called Second Life, don't really understand what I'm doing just yet but so far all I've done is create a avatar and am exploring this online world. Looks pretty cool but don't know that much about it yet, if you've played it my username is vBlueButterflyv add me if you want :) . Anyway, right now I'm in a pretty good mood, was just paid so you can pretty much guess "why" I'm feeling so good.

    Haven't heard from Sara yet, I really hope she talks to me again one day, would be sad if I never hear from her again, I've already accepted the fact that she probably never "wants" to see me ever again but I really hope she at least will talk to me. I miss Sara... I wish we were friends like we used to be, why did she have to go and get married and have a kid to this JERK! It totally changed her :( , well changed not %100 in a bad way, she's off drugs now and getting on with her life which is great but I feel like she thinks just cause she quit drugs and had a kid that now I'm just nowhere near good enough to be her friend. It's not like I'll try to tempt her back into drugs! If we were to catch up it would be to have a coffee or lunch somewhere nice, to chat, to catch up you know normal stuff! I'm able to do "normal" stuff and none of it would involve things such as drugs or even anything eating disorder related! I guess I'm just jealous... I feel like she knows I'm trying real hard at improving my life but because I can't and she has I'm just a loser, a weak excuse for life, a junkie or plainly just someone  not worth knowing... And as much as I'd like to disagree I don't I actually strongly agree.