September 17, 2012

• First Steps

  Went to get blood tests done today, my first steps towards finding out why I cant have kids. The results should be in by Wednesday, will make an app for Thursday.

  Anyway, been pretty down lately but whats new really?

  Been looking into "Induced coma to get off opiates"....wonder if thatll work? I KNOW if i can somehow get past the damn ainful withdrawles i know ill stay clean. if i wasnt "addicted" id stay away, its just the damn handcuffs keepin me in place! I've tried cold turkey and i swear i was gonna die, tried meds but doesnt do shit...its the damn ain and anxiety, i cant handle it....it destroys me. if it was only the "mental" part id be fine! I'd be fine just keeping the temptation in check...i just dont know how to get past the physical barrier....

   

  Need to do some studying about this....if im to have any hope in a half normal future.

  • 8:07 am
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