March 13, 2014

  • Last Update

    I think this post will be my last update… For a while anyway and I know it basically takes a while between each now update now but when I mean a “while” I actually mean there is a chance that this could very possibly be my “last” update.

    Well it’s about 5am and Pete and I have gotten back from the city, Pete bought himself two new Xbox games! Dark Souls two on Xbox360 which for anyone that doesn’t know about Dark Souls, it’s probably one of THE hardest fucking games in the world! But it’s hard in an extremely satisfyingly addictive way! And the other game Pete got is the new Titanfall on the Xbox One, it’s kind of like Halo meets Call of Duty ha-ha! Which he is playing now and is extremely happy, love seeing him so happyJ.

    Oh! I have for a while now been saying that I’ve wanted to write and publish a story and possibly a Post Apocalypse story but had no idea on how to start the damn thing! Well… Writer’s block can go fuck it’s self because I have finally come up with an introduction to my story and yes it’s going to be based in a Post Apocalypse world, I’m so excited and can’t wait to begin! I think when or if I do update again… It’ll be when I have finally become a real Author and have published my book!

    Lastly, few months ago… Well I think it was a few months ago I had after almost eleven years found and got back in contact with “Angie!” For anyone that doesn’t know or has forgotten who Angie is, she was a very close and dear friend I had over Xanga. We never met each other and only ever spoke over Xanga, at the time we were both going through and feeling a lot of the same things but sadly after I had to go to the psychiatric hospital I sort of fell out of contact with her for a few reasons. At first I started to feel she was pushing me away in some sense or due to being in the hospital for long and being unable to speak with her for over two months felt she had I guess “moved on. Which later I found was untrue! But for the longest time I was just simply without internet access and then when I was able to update my Xanga again Angie’s Xanga was gone. So anyway I found her again on Facebook! At first I was over the moon that I had amazingly found my long lost friend! But not only had I changed a lot but so had she and even though I was overwhelmed with happiness to finally be able to talk to her again… Angie was notL. At first she was extremely upset with me for breaking contact with her, even making her think that I died! I had deeply hurt her feelings though of cause I didn’t mean to. I then went on to explain the type of eleven years I had lived before our broken contact and was replied with similar pain. Slowly I started to realize nearly everything I was saying to her with either twisted around to make me sound like I was attacking her in some way, offending or insulting which of cause I never intended any of them. Sadly I have now deleted her from my friends list and have even blocked her… I really tried hard to mend our friendship that bluntly I had been blamed for destroying… I really don’t need people like that anymore… And really all she reminded me of was Sarah and much she hurt me.

    And if Angie is reading this… “I’m sorry but you aren’t the only person that doesn’t live a joy filled perfect fucking life, suffers every day, has gone through utter hell and survived and have had friends hurt you. I never EVER wanted to hurt you… I CARED for you dearly! And all I feel is that you have thrown that all away due to some misunderstanding that you don’t want to hear the reason to anyway. So please, really… Be happy, healthy and have a good life… I’m sorry I ever found you again.

     

    P.S Even though it says that this might be my last update, it will be only for this Xanga. I will be updating my other blog here: http://mekahmenke.wordpress.com/
    I did even think about closing my Xanga site down at one point but couldn’t make myself do it as I have now had it for so long and feel deleting it would be a great shame. So for anyone interested in future updates or doesn’t want to wait for any updates here (if any) go to the link.